Mother Moment

Usually, I suffer with self-doubts about how I am doing as a mom. I think that this is fairly common. Am I feeding them correctly? Are we spending enough quality time together? Should we throw the Wii system in the trash can? Is it okay to give kids a curfew?

We have been sick for several weeks. One nasty cold and one vicious stomach virus making the rounds on alternating people. Add in some secondary infections (two with bronchitis & one with a sinus infection for sure) and it's been a crazy couple of weeks. On Monday I went to pick up prescriptions at Costco & thought ahead enough to pick up penne chicken pasta from the deli case & the brown paper-wrapped French bread from the bakery. After taking a nap, we added frozen vegetables & felt like I had given my kids an adequate meal. (As a bonus, Chris was able to easily prepare the entire thing!!)

Yesterday, a dear friend offered to bring a pot of soup & I cheerfully accepted. She showed up at the door less than five minutes after one of the sickies requested something warm to eat. YUMMY!

Last night I took codeine-laced cough syrup to help me sleep. At about 2:30 a.m. one of the boys came in complaining of a severe headache, fever, body aches, etc. I sat on the floor beside him, brushed his hair, fed him alternating sips of Coke & Gatorade, decided on some migraine medicine, looked up symptoms on WebMd & decided he was probably dehydrated from an overly-hard workout on Monday & kept pushing fluids, and I WAS PATIENT THE ENTIRE TIME!!! Now, the super relaxing cough medicine probably helped but I was an okay mom.

Today I am tired & feeling the effects of missing a lot of sleep. But I am happy that I am not always riddled with bad-mom-thoughts. Taking care of my son was a blessing. Curfews are a good things (as my high school journals reminded me!!). Too much screen time is not good for anyone. Feeding families is a fine balancing act. Being a mother is the hardest and most rewarding job of all. I am grateful for my children and the opportunity I have to be with them.

Project Life 2013 - I am learning as I go!

I have long wanted to learn how to use Photoshop for digital scrapbooking. I miss cutting & sticking but I am more productive when every one of my 56,334 digital photos is at my fingertips.

I have Cathy Zielske's blog on my Google reader & each week she posts her Project Life layout & I think "I really should do this!" I am already keeping a journal for my personal history class & I definitely take a lot of pictures. I have lots of free digital scrapbooking supplies on my computer (now on my external hard drive & organized). The only thing missing was the ability to efficiently use Photoshop. What's a girl to do?

I watched many free tutorials on cathyzielske.typepad.com and took notes. (Geek!)

Here's a tutorial on using layered templates: paisleepress.com/2009/01/layered-templates-101/

My plan is to print the pages in color on photo paper each week. Then, at the end of the year or maybe every six months, I will have them printed & bound in a photobook (Blurb or similar). Here are a few of the pages that I have made so far:

Bucket List

Do you have a bucket list? A long time ago (before the movie that I still haven't seen) I made a list of 100 things I wanted to do in my life. A few items from the list: Graduate from college. Go to Washington DC & Boston. Visit a pawn shop.

Scott gave me a beautiful camera a few years ago. The quality of the pictures is so much better than my little portable cameras can take, especially on the fast running stuff. One day last spring while I was walking up the front stairs, I tripped & fell with my camera in my hand. Since then, the photos have been a little overexposed. Then, when we were on Junkanoo Beach in the Bahamas, my camera rolled off of my bag & into the powdery fine sand. At first, the lens would not work but it eventually worked out the kinks. I have been casually looking for a lens on Amazon & Craigslist. One lens was listed on Craigslist at a pawn shop about 20" away from our house. When I finally went & tried the lens (& heard about the 30-day money-back guarantee!), I decided to buy it. The cashier gave me a bonus 10% off because I mentioned Craigslist & I felt like I got the deal of the century. (80% off the new price?!) It's just the "kit lens" for the next nicer model of my camera, but the image quality is great!

Jared had two baby teeth pulled. Braces? Very, very soon!

The Guess How Much I Love You Bunnies

Dad frequently gives the kids rides to bed

Haircuts at last - the wise guy without wisdom teeth!

Ryan likes to practice basketball.

The View from the Back Door

My friend Kristi at thankfulme.net posted a picture about the view out her back door. I was so surprised - she lives in the desert with wind generators on top of treeless mountaintops and an unusual tree nearby. (Unusual only because I had never seen one before.) I grabbed my camera to document what I saw out my door & to try out my new lens.

I took a picture of the tree & was surprised to see a cardinal and another unknown-to-me bird. Our neighbor has several bird feeders & they are attracting a lot of wildlife. The tree in the front has always been sort of gangly & awkward but it provides a lot of privacy from the houses behind us. Our lot ends right in the middle of the tree. I think that the little blobs near the top of the tree are mistletoe.

Merry Christmas!!

I will post a trip recap & pictures soon enough, but I wanted to share the insight that I gained today while we were finishing up our cruise from Charleston to the Bahamas.

Many of the crew members work for long periods of time without being able to contact their families - wives & children included. I freak out when Scott is on a business trip & doesn't call home daily. Last night I asked the guy at the photo kiosk if he would be able to call home for Christmas & he had the saddest face when he told me no. What?! Another young man was walking around the dining area this morning and almost crying. I felt sad for them missing the traditions and the relationships - the magical part of the holidays. But also, I pondered for a few moments & realized that the good news is that Jesus Christ was born!! I hope that I was with the heavenly hosts singing for joy. With him we are able to be forgiven & to have life eternal. I am so grateful for this knowledge. I have never been totally alone on Christmas, but I have felt alone at different times of my life. I have always felt the Comforter bringing me peace. So grateful!!

The Flu of 2.0.1.2

I have not been feeling well for several weeks now. Things took a dramatic turn for the worse two or three days ago. I knew something was wrong but could not even put it into words at the MinuteClinic. After lecturing me for ten minutes about my blood pressure, the PA gave me an antibiotic prescription & sent me on my merry way. I filled the script & started taking it. I know antibiotics don't make everything instantly better, but I seem to remember not getting worse & worse once I started taking them.

I got worse & worse. Fever of 101* and achy-ness and a bad cough and a sore throat. (Wah, wah, wah!) I called my old doctor's office (the one who will see me the day I am sick) & asked for an appointment. The PA walked in & knew immediately that I had the flu. It was probably the fact that I was leaning my head funny against the wall. I tested positive. She wrote me a prescription plus one for Scott as a preventative measure. (Nice!)

Scott worked from home so he could take care of me. Best husband ever! The pediatrician's office would not write a prescription without an appointment & a positive flu test.

Jared got up this morning VERY sick. I called & said, "I cannot walk any further than about ten feet without blacking out. My son is sick & I'm pretty sure it's the flu."

"OK. So when would you like to bring him in?" Uuuuuh... I just said that I am bedridden. (Biggest pet peeve with customer service is that they just prattle on with their normal spiel without listening to what you are saying.)

Chris (who thankfully got a flu shot) is taking Jared to the doctor. We will survive - it's not fun this time of year!!

I have not done Christmas shopping yet. It will be online all the way. I guess that's less stressful anyway. I bought all of my baking supplies & they will sit unused on the kitchen counter for now, except for the homemade Nutella resting in the fridge.

The YSA Christmas party has been moved to my friend's house.

Our sweet Relief Society president knew that I was sick because she called as I was walking into the Minute Clinic on Wednesday about something else. She called yesterday to check on me & told me that she would bring us dinner. I cried!! She has a lot of people with a lot of troubles on her plate & she took time to help us. So grateful.

The picture of Jared is from last night. He came home from a friend's house & said, "Take my picture with my arms out so I can give you an air hug!!" So sweet - melted my heart!! His cheeks were puffed out because he was holding his breath to not get sick.

The other picture is where I was for 90% of the day yesterday. The rest of the time I was in the bathroom which needs no picture.

Time Cruises Along

January 2003

Ten years ago we were given the chance to go on a Disney cruise with Scott's family. The kids (ages 4 months, 4, & 8) do not remember much of what happened. We had a good time & loved being with our entire family (minus one missionary nephew). 

I think I was a little overwhelmed with a fourth-month old baby who did not have a schedule on the boat. He was easy-going but he ended up drinking his entire can of formula in four days. We had to beg the gift shop to open early to give us more on the morning we left. 

In the middle of our last night on board, we awoke to a splashing noise and then a raining noise. Ryan had barfed from the top bunk towards the roof of the cabin & it rained down over the playpen. Scott & Ryan were both very ill for the last twelve hours on the boat.

Looking at the picture though, what strikes me is how young our kids were. How did we get from there to here??? I read a blog called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. She has a short video that explains, "The days are long, but the years are short." When the boys were little, I felt like they would be little forever. Babies and their accelerated growth for the first year give a glimpse of how fast time will pass. But still I do not know where the last ten years went.

We are cruising again with the kids soon. I am excited to share with them the wonders of cruising - lots of people, great food, funny dance parties, and semi-exotic ports. I can't wait!!

1940 Census Indexing

A few months ago the 1940 census was finally released (hooray!). I have several mysterious grandparents to track down and I can't wait for it all to be indexed. When I signed in one day, there was  an announcement about badges for the states that you've helped index.

I worked very hard in small spurts at indexing. In a little over one month, I indexed over 2500 names with a 95% correct rating. (And lots of the errors were blank pages that I could never decide how to do correctly. OH WELL!!)

I loved reading the census & peering into peoples' lives. How many kids? Where did they live? What did they do for work? I have loved looking for my own ancestors & felt the same type of feelings towards all the strangers that I indexed. No one wants to be forgotten.

It has been fun finding Scott's parents & our grandparents in the 1940 records. Everyone working to index the records has meant that now we can find the records we want. Hooray!!

See the yellow line up there? That's my Grandma Peggy. She was nine years old & living in Juliaetta, Idaho with her mother and step-father. Her father died nine months before she was born!! He had liver cancer, went home from the hospital around Christmas time, & then returned to the hospital & died. I am glad that she was born!!

I love genealogical research. I like knowing the history of my family - where we came from, who we are, what we have experienced. I have started another blog to write family history stories & liken them to historical events & places. I just have not written any entries yet. Soon!

Right Now

favorite t.v. shows: Sports Center, Property Brothers & their new one, Amazing Race (DVR), Food Nanny (DVR), the Weather Channel. (I am really not a big TV watcher.)

other shows I watch: The 13 Days of Halloween has shown some cute movies.

anticipating: the state cross-country meet, working on my personal history for my newest class, waiting on grades from my first two assignments and the final I completed this week.

reading: The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People  by Stephen R. Covey - I am taking a class at Big Picture Classes & the teacher mentioned the book. I am quickly skimming for a refresher. Also, rotating between several healthy eating/diet books before bed to brainwash myself into eating healthier.

 
things that make me happy: babies, looking through photographs, good friends, listening to The Mormon Channel, driving the new car, when my kids get along, spending time with Scott

eating: lots of sugar! I quiet Diet Coke on October 9th. I suffered nausea and headaches for several days; Excedrin Migraine (Tension Headache Relief at Target) took off the edge. I still think about a Route 44 Sonic Diet Coke a few times a day. Pathetic, but true. I have tried replacing it with other liquids but nothing is the same. Hopefully the feeling will go away as my body cleanses itself of the remnants.

house/seasonal stuff: I love having the Halloween decorations out, but I feel like we don't have very much, but we really do have a lot! I need to print out diagrams or something like I do for Christmas so I know where to put stuff. I bought two new little pictures (5x7) with Eye of Newt & Bat Wing Potion last night for $2 to hang by the front door. Scott hung up a new curtain rod in the dining room & I laboriously ironed new linen curtains to hang. Just hanging curtains makes the room feel so much homier. Weird. Now, I just need to re-hem them so they don't have high waters.

working on: Project Real Life class at Big Picture Classes, plans for our Christmas cruise, Composing your Personal History for my BYU degree, (I am finishing up my degree - 9 classes to go!!) cleaning & sorting my office, a bunch of resolutions related to everything else.

songs I love: "Moving on" by Timbaland; "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Israel K...;

stressing about: mission papers and preparation, filling Chris' days with productivity rather than chatter, the election (already decided just praying like crazy that I am happy with the results), my broken toe. (I stubbed in on a dumbbell before we went to Utah. It is still painful - no definitive answer on the Xray but I think it's cracked down the side. The sheets on the bed can bend it wrong & I whimper in my sleep!!)

A Code of Honor

I am taking an Independent Study class through Brigham Young University. (Yes, I am a Mormon.) In order to attend BYU, I have to have a yearly interview with my ecclesiastical leader (the bishop). I swear upon my word of honor that I will be honest in all of my dealings with others, dress modestly, be true to my marital vows with my husband, and obey the Word of Wisdom (no tea, coffee, tobacco, alcohol). Yearly I set up the appointment & take the time to meet with the bishop so that he knows & I know that I am keeping this honor code. 

Karl G. Maeser (founder of Brigham Young University) said, "I have been asked what I mean by 'word of honor.' I will tell you. Place me behind prison walls--walls of stone ever so high, ever so thick, reaching ever so far into the ground--there is a possibility that in some way or another I may escape; but stand me on the floor and draw a chalk line around me and have me give my word of honor never to cross it. Can I get out of the circle? No. Never! I'd die first!"

Serious stuff, eh? I cannot lie.

I have struggled & fought as I have strived to complete my current class - the Doctrine & Covenants & Church History. Lessons have included lots of readings on the Missouri persecutions. I have been horrified beyond expression at the abuses that the people suffered beginning in July 1833 (test question) and continuing until the extermination order by Governor Boggs. Members of both of our families suffered greatly at the hands of the mobs in Ohio, Missouri, and Illinois. Others left comfortable lives in England, Wales, and Switzerland to gather together with the Saints in Zion. I am going to share four short stories and then explain what happened to me today.

At Haun's Mill in Missouri, Amanda Barnes Smith (Scott's 3rd great grandmother) received miraculous help in answer to a fervent prayer to know how to heal her son after the muzzle of a gun had been slipped between the logs to blow off his hip joint. Her husband and other son had been killed.

In Adams County, Missouri, Peter Wimmer's son-in-law James Powell was hit in the back with a large rock & then shot at. He said, "Did not hit me one of them then Struck me with his gun and Broke my Skull a bout Six inches a part of my Brain Run out I have had fourteen pieces of Bone taken out of my Skull". James Powell was not a member of the Mormon church but his father-in-law was. He was injured as he went to his father's home to check on his child after the mobs had already visited his home.

In Nauvoo, Illinois the Church again established a home, built a temple, and were driven out by February 1846. John Pulsipher said, "Our enemies were not satisfied with what they had done [in killing the Prophet Joseph Smith & his brother Hyrum], so they continued their depredations. In the small settlements in the country the mobs collected, drove our brethren from their homes, burned their houses and grain and killed some who could not get out of the way. In the fall, the mob collected in the south part of the county and in about two weeks they burned 200 houses to ashes. The inhabitants had to flee to Nauvoo to save their lives. A great amount of grain and property was destroyed, cattle and hogs were stolen and killed almost without number. Old father Durfee was shot and killed by the mob while he was trying to save his property from the flames. Many others died from exposure after being robbed and driven into the wood. Their sufferings were so great that they could not endure it."

After leaving Nauvoo and the United States, the pioneers crossed the plains towards the Great Basin in wagons, pulling handcarts, and on foot. My 3rd great grandmother Sarah Jarrold Hyder had to walk beside the wagon for the journey from Nebraska to Utah because her mother and her sister were both ill. Once they reached the Salt Lake Valley, life was not guaranteed to be easy. Many arrived to late in the season to plant crops & had to rely on the food that they had carried with them. I admire the courage it took to go forward with faith and to not give up.


Okay, back to today. I went to the local community college to take my midterm exam. The class expires next week & they (IS) needs to have the midterm in their office before they will let me order the final. I had to hurry & take the exam today because I'm going to be out of town for the St. George Marathon with Scott.

When I arrived at the testing center, the woman behind the plexiglass wall said, "You're here for Brigham Young University? You don't have an appointment!!" 

I explained that I had never made an appointment before when I had taken an exam. (I have taken at least 3-4 exams here in the last 2-3 years.) 

She then accused me of lying - on & on in several different variations & accusations. "I've been here for five years & you've never taken an exam with me." 

I explained that I was an honest person & if I would have ever made an appointment, I would be willing to admit my mistake.

She then started going off on me & explained that the Bible says that we aren't supposed to be perfect & that there's no one who hasn't told lies. Really? I believe in the Bible as well.

I begged & pleaded for mercy & the opportunity to take the exam. Policies have changed & I have to have an appointment 24-hours in advance. I also have to go to a building off campus to pay $10.00 in advance for the privilege of taking an exam in a room very similar to the BYU testing center (but this center lacks backpacks, phones, or modest clothing). In the end, she allowed me to take the exam, but I was so shaken by the way that I had been accused & treated that I had a difficult time answering the questions. 

I do not believe that my forefathers suffered the way they did for me to be dishonest. I strive to be honest in all of my dealings with others. Why would I betray the legacy that has been given to me?

I walked away from the experience knowing that there was a lesson to be learned about prejudice and persecution. I have not had to endure the severe hardships that others endured. I have felt chastened by a difficult class that I procrastinated starting for far too long. (Does double pneumonia and pleurisy last October count as a reasonable excuse?) I have felt humbled as I endured prejudice because of my religion, but I was able to drive home in my own car sheltered from the elements & to arrive at my lovely home where my lovely children & friends were waiting to console me.

May I daily strive to be kind and to be everything that I should be.

Latest & Greatest

Chris is hanging around home & earning money towards his church mission. Over the summer he worked a couple of different jobs & saved some significant cash. :) Always good news. He is currently practicing his burrito-rolling skills.

He went to lots of physical therapy to get his hip to the point that he could run again. He is training to run the Spinx half marathon at the end of October. (Scott is probably racing the marathon on the same day.) Running is going well & he seems to be getting stronger & stronger all the time.

He finished his mouth!! In fourth grade he first got braces. Three years later they came off for a while before he got another pha$e. He had to have some teeth pulled & a titanium screw implanted in his gum. He had to have a couple of crown$ made & have some tooth whitening. Now, he has the smile that we have always imagined. Perfect.

In August Chris got his Eagle Scout award. In May he graduated from high school & fully started attending institute & YSA activities. I am very behind on pictures & posting!! More soon.

XC Friends

One of my favorite things about attending cross country meets is running into friends new & old. I think the absence of referees and politics helps make the meets friendly places. The kids do their best & it's as much about beating your personal time as it is about a team effort.

Chris' team from last year has been attending more of the big meets - so glad for the kids to be able to run with lots of competition. It's a good thing & fun to watch the program evolve. When Chris ran, many of the meets were in cow fields & through parking lots.

Cross Country Update

Ryan has been running a lot this year! He is part of the varsity team & they set a goal back in May to run 500 miles per person over the summer. He got up early(ish) & ran at 7 or 8 a.m. every morning except Sunday. Once school started he continued running but now after school until about 6:00 every night - add homework & it's very busy. And he has extra mileage to log for the team & runs in between seminary & school.

Saturday was the Lake Murray Invitational. It has a reputation of being fast & flat & mostly paved - all good things. Ryan stuck with a few of his amazing teammates for the first mile and ended up running a 5K (3.1 miles) in 16:22. He took 13th place overall (hundreds of runners) & improved his PR (personal record) by almost 50 seconds. Even better, his team ran so fast that they took first place for the entire invitational. :)

Pictures:
1. Somewhere around the 1-mile mark - shady, paved trail - Coach H. knows the best spots at every meet so their team tarps are near this point.
2. The start is a figurative brawl - elbows flying & running as fast as you can to not get stuck in the corners or tripped up by someone else
3. Teammates - Sawyer, Zach, Marc, Charlie, Jeff, Ryan & Zach. Ryan & Zach (yellow shirt) are the only freshman.
4. Ryan approaching the finish line & giving 110% effort.
5. Ryan (tired) & Mom (happy).

Cocoa krispie shake

2 cups milk
2 cups ice cubes
1/4 cup protein powder
1 cup vanilla ice cream
1 cup cocoa krispies
1-2 tablespoons chocolate syrup

Ryan

Home Office Ideas - have you seen this place?

Traditional Home Office design by New York Interior Designer Prentice Interiors

I was going to show you what the "before" looks like but I can't figure it out. It's bad!!

 

I have slowly been plugging away at The Pit. I was inspired by Gretchen Rubin's message - "Suffer for Fifteen Minutes." I have baskets & baskets of stuff & I am going through a little every day. I have learned that the best solution for paperwork is to wait a while. (haha) Everything is outdated, expired, & doesn't apply. Horrible but true & definitely easier.

Hopefully my after will resemble the before in a month or so.

Running Around Like a Runner?

Ryan was also very busy in May (or at least until the last moment of April). He had a successful track season, even though he was bored running around in circles. He ran the varsity 4x800 meters and the 1600 meter (mile). His team was able to go to the state qualifier meet. They were ultimately disqualified - but there were a lot of really fast kids & wouldn't have been able to go on to state. Scott was the unofficial team timekeeper. He wrote down lap-splits for the kids so they knew when they were improving. Ryan's PR for the mile was 4:47 & their team 4x800 time was less than 9:00.

As much as Ryan enjoyed running track (with the end goal of being faster at cross country), he and the neighbor boy were SO EXCITED when track & baseball were over & they could spend every waking moment together. (only a slight exaggeration) 

scout campoutBYU lacrosse

He also spent time growing like a weed & stubbing his toe & ripping off toenails, jumping on the trampoline & playing the NO FAIR game with Jared. [I would clue you in on the rules of the no fair game, but I don't know them. I just know that whenever Ryan, M, & Jared play, Jared comes in & says, no fair! Jared calls it that now.]

Ryan graduated from eighth grade to no fanfare. He celebrated 8th Grade Day with his classmates & willingly skipped the dance. There was no graduation ceremony- he exempted all of his exams except his required high school Spanish test. When asked if he wanted a picture in front of the school or something, he just gave me this look as we left. (That's a no.)

May is the New December

There are so many activities in May  - it feels like running around at Christmas time. Guess where we want to go?

We lost the hat somewhere along the way. Jared thinks someone walked off with it. This is the only time he wore a serious face all season. His nickname is SMILEY. He is happy & smiling whenever he is playing. We missed coaches of years past and look forward to years in the future. We are proud of Jared for trying & doing his best with minimal instruction & encouragement from his coach.

Jared helped his dad & his brothers fix a GREAT Mother's Day meal for me. I was able to nap & enjoy the day while they made a masterpiece. Steak, baked potatoes, salad, and Chunky Lola cookies. (Recipe & pics another day.)

The end of the school year is always challenging. Lots of activities to fit in before it

s too late. Teacher gifts, awards day, baseball tournaments, and getting drug along to all of big brothers' events. Through it all, he is pretty easy-going.

Pre-Graduation Festivities

Christopher graduated on May 23, 2012. I am sad to say that I just sent his announcements out yesterday, failed to read directions and wondered why on earth there was not any glue or insert cards. I was happy with his senior pictures - I tried & tried to make a photo collage with cute little kid pictures and more mature now pictures but nothing was working. I finally said, "Hey bud, let's do a photo shoot." He excitedly agreed (!!!) & suggested a park downtown. We drove down, parked the car & walked to the first spot. RATS! No camera card. We quickly found a Staples & were back in business. The best of the rest ...

The week before graduation, the school at a senior picnic at a local farm/venue. Because the school is small & we don't go to church with or live by many people who attend, it was a quiet event for us. The food was good & it was nice to see a few of the kids that Chris has been in school with since third grade.